Domestic Violence: A Workplace Issue (Revisted)
October 2022 - Mary Sherman
(This article was originally published in October 2022 in the FEAP Newsletter)
Domestic violence is a pattern of coercive behavior, including acts or threatened acts, that is used by a perpetrator to gain power and control over a current or former spouse, family member, intimate partner, or person with whom the perpetrator shares a child in common.
Domestic violence occurs in heterosexual and same-sex relationships and impacts individuals from all economic, educational, cultural, age, gender, racial, and religious demographics. It includes, but is not limited to, physical or sexual violence, emotional and/or psychological intimidation, verbal abuse, economic control, harassment, physical intimidation, or injury.
You may be in an abusive relationship if your partner:
Verbally insults, demeans, or threatens you
Isolates you from friends, family, or other people
Organizes schedules to follow or harass you
Limits your mobility or access to money
Explodes into a rage and assaults you physically or sexually
Negates your words, abilities, ideas, and actions
Chokes, punches, slaps, kicks or otherwise hurts you
Excuses each attack and promises to stop
If this is something you are experiencing, please contact FEAP today. If you are in immediate danger, call 911.
Domestic violence affects the workplace through an increase in absenteeism, turnover, health care costs, lost productivity, and security risks. However, a company can create a supportive culture by sharing information and education and by providing training around domestic violence.
Warning Signs in Others:
Someone may be in an abusive relationship if they:
Have unexplained bruises
Have explanations that just don’t add up
Are distracted or miss work often
Receive repeated, upsetting telephone calls during the day
Have a high absenteeism rate due to medical problems
Fear leaving children at home alone with the abuser
Talking about Domestic Violence
If you are a supervisor, unless an employee reveals abuse to you, you should not make direct inquiries, however you can express concern about observed behaviors or bruises.
“I am concerned for your safety.”
“I am here for you when you need help.”
While your role is not to be a counselor, you can refer them to FEAP or a resource for support.
Realize that sometimes an abused person decides to remain in the relationship, and that often the most dangerous time is when they threaten the abuser's control by attempting to leave. Therefore, honoring the person's choice is important, as is encouraging them to seek a safety planning resource, such as those listed below.
If you are concerned about a coworker, we encourage you to speak with FEAP. FEAP can offer advice and guidance if an employee expresses concern about their safety.
Contact FEAP
FEAP (8am-5pm M-F): 434-243-2643 (uvafeap.com)
Crisis & Care Coordinator (8am-5pm M-F): 434-995-8305 (uvafeap.com)
FEAP After-Hours Support: 434-243-2643
About the Author
Mary Sherman
A member of the FEAP team since 1996, Mary Sherman is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker and Certified Employee Assistance Professional in Virginia.
Mary offers expertise in coaching, stress management, and more, helping individuals navigate diverse personal and workplace challenges.
For further information on suicide prevention, please visit the following resources:
Shelter for Help in Emergency: 434.293.8509 (Charlottesville/Surrounding Area)
National Domestic Violence Hotline: 1.800.799.SAFE (7233)
Virginia Sexual and Domestic Violence Action Alliance: 1.800.838.8238