Heroes in the Light: How Poetry Can Help Us Out of the Darkness
The Stories We Tell Ourselves Matter
Many of us are confined by the narratives we tell ourselves, trapping us in cycles that feel inescapable. These stories may compel us to take excessive responsibility for others' needs, heighten our sensitivity to interpersonal judgement, or make us hesitant to step beyond the boundaries of our self-image or how we believe others see us. Psychotherapists and spiritual teachers alike have long held the belief that the stories we tell ourselves affect our sense of purpose, relationships, and overall well-being.
Indeed, an entire branch of psychotherapy is dedicated to transforming thoughts to influence behaviors: Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT). Similarly, many spiritual traditions employ meditation, mantra, and prayer to achieve the same goal. Both approaches are rooted in the understanding that thoughts, feelings, and behaviors are deeply interconnected. They recognize that certain thoughts—often unrealistic, misleading, or harmful—can hijack the mind, creating a lingering sense of anxiety and despair.
Most people experience this, and—though it does for some—it doesn’t necessarily indicate Major Depression or Generalized Anxiety Disorder (GAD). Rather, it may mean we've become entangled in a narrative that reinforces our harsher self-perceptions (e.g., shame, guilt, inadequacy, worthlessness, purposelessness, helplessness, resentment, self-loathing) and amplifies our more challenging emotions (e.g., fear, sadness, anger, disgust, frustration, exasperation), rather than serving our well-being or validating our innate and unchangeable value.
I’m not a therapist, but I’ve spent plenty of time buried in self-help books—psychological, sociological, neurological, spiritual, and beyond. Through this, I’ve come to understand how my narrative perception of myself and others shapes my experience of the world. As a writer and communications specialist, I recognize the power of storytelling—including the stories we tell ourselves.
And I want to make it abundantly clear that to improve our stories and self-perception, we do not have to abandon our original narratives outright. For many of us, doing so might feel like denying a part of our truth. Maybe someone wronged you. Maybe you still resent them for it. It’s okay to acknowledge that hurt, even to sit with it for a while. But ultimately, we must learn to let go. We must do this not just for our own well-being, but because clinging to a narrative of pain serves neither us nor those around us—not our families and our children, nor our colleagues and our neighbors.
Of course, letting go doesn’t mean inviting the person who wronged you over for dinner or a night at Bowlero. It’s not about excusing them or rewriting history. It’s about freeing yourself from a story in which you are the victim and they are the villain. It’s about reclaiming your role as the hero of your own story—allowing them to be not an antagonist, but a catalyst for an experience that may have led you into darkness but ultimately taught you how to find your way back to the light.
And like any skill, this practice gets less daunting the more you do it. But how do we begin?
As I mentioned before, centuries of spiritual practices have helped countless individuals rewrite their narratives through an experience of “salvation,” “enlightenment,” “revelation,” or “rebirth.” Similarly, psychotherapeutic methods like Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) offer tools to enhance our clarity and control over our thoughts and behaviors. And if you're interested in a more tangible approach, self-help books can be a valuable resource; you might explore:
Rising Strong by Brené Brown, which introduces the concept of the 'Stormy Rough Draft' as a framework for resilience and understanding.
A Return to Love by Marianne Williamson delves into practical spiritual techniques for transforming fear-based thoughts into love-centered ones.
The Way of Integrity by Martha Beck guides readers through leaving the 'dark wood of error' and embracing truth and authenticity.
The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins offers practical advice on releasing attachment to external judgments and fully owning your story.
Whether you turn to ancient spiritual traditions, structured psychotherapeutic approaches, or the insights of self-help literature, each offers a powerful starting point for personal transformation.
However, as I’ve said before, I am not a therapist, nor am I a spiritual leader, or a bestselling self-help author—I am a writer, primarily a poet. And I believe that reading and writing poetry hold profound promise in honoring our stories of darkness and victimhood while helping us see the full arc of our journey—one that ultimately reveals us as our own heroes standing strong in the light.
Reading Poetry
I've long believed this, and in many ways, I would say that poetry has saved my life, strengthened my relationships, and deepened my understanding of myself, others, and the world. Many argue that poetry is too opaque or complicated to serve this function, but I believe the poems meant for you will always speak to you—no matter how cryptic, surreal, or seemingly nonsensical they may appear.
Poetry is a layered art form, capable of conveying multiple messages at once through form, rhythm, narrative, and a multitude of other literary devices. The meaning you receive is shaped by where you are, when you are, and how you’re feeling.
From both my study of poetry and personal experience as a reader, I’ve found three key reasons why poetry reshapes narratives and self-perception: poetry broadens our lens, bridges us from isolation, and often models transformation.
Poetry Broadens Our Lens
In Acts of Meaning (1990), Jerome Bruner argues that narratives shape human experience, and when individuals adopt narrow, one-dimensional narratives, they risk reinforcing a limited understanding of themselves and the world. This self-contained perspective can trap us in a victim mindset, preventing us from seeing our experiences in a broader context.
By fixating on our own suffering, we risk overlooking the countless others who have faced hardship, missing the opportunity to broaden our understanding. In doing so, we forgo the chance to cultivate empathy, gratitude, and the potential for transformative thought. This doesn’t mean we need to read heartbreaking poems everyday, actually it might mean we need to read poems that are just the opposite. It isn’t about the content so much as it is about there being more content for you to broaden your lens.
For a long time, the internet did this much faster—and, for many, more effectively—than poetry. But in an era where social media algorithms narrow our scope to personal interests and preferences, poetry offers something vital: the ability to see what we’ve overlooked or remember what we’ve forgotten.
At its core, this is about embracing the unknown. If there are things you don’t yet know or have forgotten, then perhaps it’s worth questioning whether you truly understand the story that has haunted you for so long. Maybe you are worthy of a relationship where you feel seen, loved, and cared for. Maybe taking time off doesn’t make you lazy. Or maybe it won’t hurt to forgive yourself for forgetting to pick your kid up from soccer practice that one time. When we have more stories that show us things we hadn’t realized we become more comfortable adjusting our views on our own lives.
Books to help broaden your lens:
Poetry of Witness: The Tradition in English, 1500-2001 (Ed.) - Carolyn Forché
Documents historical struggles, wars, and human rights violations through poetry that bears witness.
Poetry Unbound: 50 Poems to Open Your World - Pádraig Ó Tuama
Illuminates the power of poetry to deepen understanding and connection through insightful reflections. (Audiobook is excellent!)
Poetry 180: A Turning Back to Poetry (Ed.) - Billy Collins
Encourages everyday readers to rediscover poetry with accessible, engaging selections.
Poetry Bridges Us From Isolation
Just as poetry broadens our scope by telling stories we didn’t know—it also allows us to engage deeply with stories that mirror our own experiences. In Humiliation: And Other Essays on Honor, Social Discomfort, and Violence (1993), William Ian Miller argues that individuals who feel isolated in their suffering often develop an exaggerated sense of victimhood. This can be exacerbated by the absence of a comparative framework that acknowledges shared human experiences.
Feeling misunderstood or isolated can intensify difficult emotions and reinforce negative perceptions of ourselves, others, and the world. Poetry, however, provides a way to connect—even when we struggle to find relatable voices in our immediate community or aren’t yet ready to share our experiences openly.
There was a time when the internet revolutionized connection, allowing us to find communities with people we might never have met otherwise. However, with the rise of social media and targeted marketing, it often isolates us instead—overwhelming us with feelings of inadequacy in the face of curated posts and unattainable lifestyles. It can also be overstimulating and distracting. Poetry, on the other hand, offers a refuge—a quiet space, perhaps in your bedroom or by a fire—where you can choose to be fully present with another who understands you, free from the noise of advertisements and notifications.
When you encounter stories that resonate with your own, you begin to see the possibility of light at the end of the tunnel. If Sharon Olds survived her divorce, perhaps you can too. If Anne Carson navigated grief and guilt after the death of her estranged brother, maybe you can find your way through your grief experience as well. Or perhaps Catherine Barnett’s meditations on loneliness and the mundane will help you recognize the beauty in solitude and everyday life. In any case, poetry can help us feel less alone in our experience.
Books to help bridge us from isolation:
Staying Alive: Real Poems for Unreal Times (Ed.) - Neil Astley
Gathers powerful poems that offer solace, resilience, and insight during difficult times.
Solutions for the Problem of Bodies in Space: Poems – Catherine Barnett
Explores intimacy, displacement, and the complexities of human existence through poetic meditation.
Nox - Anne Carson
Mourns a lost brother through a collage of poetry, translation, and personal archive.
Black Dove: Mamá, Mi'jo, and Me – Ana Castillo
Examines identity, motherhood, and cultural heritage through a lyric memoir of deeply personal storytelling.
Obit – Victoria Chang
Reimagines grief by composing poetic obituaries for lost loved ones and former selves.
Citizen: An American Lyric – Claudia Rankine
Confronts race, identity, and systemic injustice through a blend of poetry, essay, and visual imagery.
The Wild Iris – Louise Glück
Speaks through the voices of flowers, seasons, and the divine to contemplate renewal and mortality.
The Sun and Her Flowers – Rupi Kaur
Charts a journey of heartbreak, healing, growth, and self-love through accessible verse.
The Carrying – Ada Limón
Reflects on the body, fertility, loss, and resilience with luminous clarity.
Devotions – Mary Oliver
Celebrates nature, love, and spirituality through a selection of Oliver’s most cherished poems.
Stag’s Leap – Sharon Olds
Chronicles the end of a marriage with raw honesty and emotional depth.
There Are More Beautiful Things Than Beyoncé – Morgan Parker
Challenges pop culture, Black womanhood, and contemporary America with sharp, incisive verse.
The Dream of a Common Language – Adrienne Rich
Asserts the power of feminist consciousness and the struggle for authenticity in relationships.
Good Bones – Maggie Smith
Offers hope and stark truth in equal measure, exploring parenthood, grief, and resilience.
Distills emotion and identity into minimalist, evocative poetry.
Night Sky with Exit Wounds – Ocean Vuong
Weaves history, queerness, and familial trauma into breathtaking lyricism.
Poetry Models Transformation
It’s wonderful that poetry can broaden our perspective, helping us see our stories and experiences as part of a larger, shared human narrative. This connection can make us feel understood, less alone. But for my purposes here, the most important aspect is poetry’s ability to illuminate the journey from darkness to light—a transformation we all seek. Many poets capture this in their work, allowing us to envision a world where we confront darkness, find the strength to save ourselves, and ultimately return to the light.
Poems that Model Transformation
"A Brave and Startling Truth" – Maya Angelou
Moves from humanity’s failures to a hopeful vision of unity and redemption.
"Still I Rise" – Maya Angelou
Declares resilience and hope, moving from oppression to strength.
"One Art" – Elizabeth Bishop
Examines loss, showing how, despite its pain, we endure and transform.
"The Weary Blues" – Langston Hughes
Captures sorrow and struggle through blues music, revealing the power of art to carry us through suffering.
"If We Must Die" – Claude McKay
Defies oppression and mortality with dignity and courage, turning struggle into strength.
"Kindness" – Naomi Shihab Nye
Reveals how deep sorrow is necessary for true kindness, transforming pain into empathy.
"Wild Geese" – Mary Oliver
Encourages letting go of guilt and despair, embracing the beauty of the natural world and one's place in it.
"The Guest House" – Rumi
Embraces all emotions, even the painful ones, as they lead to greater self-awareness and growth.
"Love After Love" – Derek Walcott
Guides the reader through self-reconciliation, learning to love oneself again after loss or hardship.
"A Noiseless Patient Spider" – Walt Whitman
Reflects on loneliness and the search for meaning, ending with hope for connection.
Writing Poetry
Writing poetry, at its core, provides a space to reflect, reshape, and reclaim your story—ultimately guiding you from darkness into light. No single poem will achieve this transformation. In fact, you may begin by writing poems that fully engage with the darkest parts of your story, where you see yourself as the victim. But as you continue writing—viewing yourself and others through the lens of a writer and truth-teller—you may find the power to reimagine your role. No longer just a victim, you can become the hero, standing in the light of your beauty, strength, and unquantifiable worth.
Life is messy, and keeping our minds anchored in a narrative that serves us is difficult. I’m not suggesting you write poetry to dismiss your thoughts and emotions, but rather to investigate them—uncovering truth, making peace, and liberating yourself from anything holding you back from becoming your most authentic, self-loving self.
Narrative Repair, Love, and Ross Gay
I believe deeply in poetry’s power to reveal, transform, and heal—and I invite you to join my upcoming FEAP workshop: Narrative Repair, Love, and Ross Gay. Whether you’re an experienced writer or just beginning your journey, this space welcomes you to explore poetry as a tool for self-reflection, connection, and growth.
Through guided readings and writing prompts, we will engage with poetry not only as an art form but as a means of uncovering hidden truths, reclaiming our narratives, and reshaping the way we see ourselves and the world.
In a supportive, low-pressure environment, you’ll have the opportunity to find your voice, share your work, and engage in meaningful conversations about love, identity, and gratitude.
Join me on this journey of creative expression—where words become a space for discovery, transformation, and radical self-acceptance!
About the Author
Shane M. Moran
Shane Moran is a Communications Specialist with UVA HR, where he supports the communications and marketing efforts for UVA's Total Rewards Programs. He is dedicated to sharing vital information with faculty and staff about physical and mental health, aiming to help them stay healthy and fulfilled as they contribute to the University's 2030 Plan vision—to be both great and good.
Shane holds a degree in Government and English from the College of William & Mary and is currently pursuing an MFA in Poetry at The New School in New York City.
Contact FEAP
FEAP (8am-5pm M-F): 434-243-2643 (uvafeap.com)
FEAP After-Hours Support: 434-243-2643
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