Trusting in Your Own Timing: Embracing Individual Journeys
January 2025 - Monica Maughlin
Life is an intricate journey, with each of us navigating our own course shaped by individual experiences, decisions, and goals. In the age of social media and constant comparison, it’s easy to feel like we’re falling behind or that our progress doesn’t measure up to others. We often judge our success by the timelines of our peers—whether it’s career milestones, personal achievements, or lifestyle choices. However, trusting in our own timing is essential for cultivating self-worth and appreciating the unique path we’re on.
The Myth of the Universal Timeline
Each of our journeys is inherently different. The timeline that works for one person may not suit another. Life doesn’t operate on a standard clock, nor should it. Comparing our progress to others’ often distracts us from our own growth and achievements. Instead of celebrating personal milestones, we fixate on others’ successes, overlooking the factors that shape everyone’s path—family dynamics, opportunities, challenges, and individual goals.
Trusting in your own timing means recognizing that your journey is uniquely designed for your circumstances. There is no universal deadline for success or happiness. It unfolds differently for everyone, and that’s perfectly okay.
The Role of Social Comparison
Social comparison, often unconscious, can be amplified by the curated reality of social media. The highlight reels of others’ lives—thriving careers, relationships, or personal endeavors—can create the illusion of a ‘correct’ timeline for success. This illusion fosters self-doubt and feelings of inadequacy, which can erode self-confidence and motivation.
Yet, it’s vital to remember: these snapshots represent only a fraction of reality. Success stories often omit the struggles, failures, and time it took to achieve them. Trusting in your timing involves self-reflection, setting intentions aligned with your values, and accepting your present stage of life.
Expert Perspectives on Comparison and Growth
Brené Brown: Combatting Comparison with Vulnerability and Self-Compassion
Brené Brown, a leading researcher on vulnerability and shame, emphasizes that comparison hinders belonging and self-worth. She attributes comparison to a scarcity mindset—the belief that there’s not enough success, love, or recognition to go around.
Challenge the Narrative: Recognize that worth is inherent and not tied to external validation.
Practice Vulnerability: Embrace imperfection and show up as your authentic self. This encourages others to do the same.
Healthy Striving: Focus on personal growth rooted in self-compassion and intrinsic motivation. Accept mistakes as learning opportunities and aim for progress, not perfection.
Yvette Erasmus: Balancing Self-Acceptance and Self-Improvement
Yvette Erasmus, a psychologist and educator, highlights the interplay between self-acceptance and self-improvement. While self-acceptance fosters compassion and grounding, self-improvement drives meaningful change.
Self-Acceptance: Embrace who you are without harsh judgment. This creates a foundation of self-worth essential for personal growth.
Self-Improvement: Strive to grow not from a place of inadequacy but from a desire to enhance your life experience.
The Sweet Spot: Balance self-acceptance and self-improvement. This allows for growth without losing dignity or self-respect.
Steps to Trust Your Timing and Foster Growth
Cultivate Gratitude
Reflect on how far you’ve come. Celebrate personal milestones like overcoming challenges, learning new skills, or deepening relationships.
Focus on abundance by practicing gratitude for what you have instead of what you lack.
Develop Self-Acceptance
Mindful Awareness: Observe thoughts and feelings without judgment.
Self-Compassion Journaling: Write about your struggles with the kindness you’d offer a friend.
Affirm Your Worth: Regularly remind yourself that you are enough as you are.
Practice Healthy Striving
Set Intentions, Not Resolutions: Choose adaptable goals aligned with your values and desires for growth.
Take Small, Consistent Steps: Focus on incremental actions to create meaningful change over time.
Reflect and Adjust: Use journaling to track progress, learn from experiences, and refine your approach.
Reach out for Support
By integrating gratitude, self-acceptance, and healthy striving, you can navigate life with greater confidence and authenticity. Remember, growth is a continuous journey—one uniquely yours to explore—and it’s okay to seek support along the way. Reaching out to trusted friends, mentors, or professional services can provide the encouragement, perspective, and tools needed to align with your personal goals and values. You don’t have to navigate your journey alone; support is always within reach.
About the Author
Monica Maughlin
Monica brings a wealth of expertise in the assessment, intervention, and treatment of adults, adolescents, and children. She has extensive experience supporting individuals through challenges such as crisis, depression, anxiety, and navigating professional and interpersonal relationships. Monica is also highly skilled in guiding individuals and families with communication, parenting, stress management, and addressing a wide range of personal and workplace concerns.